If you've been stuck in fight-or-flight, these research-backed tools can help you find calm again. How to calm your nervous system: 7 techniques trauma survivors can use right now. Why "Just Calm Down" Doesn't Work for Trauma Survivors. If you've ever been told to "just calm down" or "just relax" when you're overwhelmed by trauma symptoms, you know how frustrating and impossible that advice feels. It's not that you don't want to calm down. It's that your nervous system has been programmed through traumatic experiences to stay in a state of constant vigilance or heightened watchful guard. Your body isn't choosing to be anxious or hypervigilant; it’s doing what it was trained and wired to …